It took a surprisingly long time for me to appreciate the brilliance of Pixies. Although they were a big influence on many bands I loved (most notably Nirvana), they had split in the early nineties, just before I started taking a serious interest in music. Back then it was harder to hear music that was even a few years old. The radio shows I listened to in the UK at that time were very Britpop orientated, and in the rush of exciting new music, many bands had been unfairly forgotten.

I was aware of the bands existence, but they never really reached the forefront of my mind, despite there being a handful of times they could have broken through. I heard Tame on a free CD with Metal Hammer magazine, but didn’t fall in love with it. A friend made me a Pixies mixtape, but even that, for whatever reason, didn’t grab me. The first time I realised they might actually be really, really good was when I heard Where Is My Mind? at the end of the movie Fight Club. Even then, the thought I should investigate them further remained in the back of my mind for a couple more years.

What really tipped me over the edge was seeing Frank Black playing a solo live set at the Reading Festival in 2001 (one of the few things I remember about that festival – I was looking at the line up poster recently and was astonished by the number of bands I either missed or have completely forgotten that I saw). He played a version of Gouge Away that was absolutely stunning, his voice as powerful as ever, and I realised that I had been missing out on something special. As it happened I started my first full time post-university job a couple of weeks later, and when I got my first weekly pay, instead of spending it on rent or food or bills, I rushed out and bought all of the Pixies albums on CD. Within days they went from being a band I hardly thought about to being my new favourite band.

I loved all of the albums, but flitted between Surfer Rosa and Doolittle as my favourite. Doolittle was a little more polished and radio friendly, and had some truly great songs. Surfer Rosa was more intense, rawer. It was loud and funny and captured the true essence of the band better than any other, (maybe no surprise given it was recorded by the late Steve Albini). It was less cohesive an album than Doolittle perhaps, more ragged and chaotic, but all the more fun for that, veering from surf music, to thrashy alt-rock to the slower, more melodic songs.

I wished I had been around to experience these records when they first came out, and deeply regretted never having been able to see the band live. When they announced a reunion and live show at the Coachella festival in 2004, I was seriously considering spending thousands of pounds making my way to California (Radiohead and Kraftwerk were also on the same stage on the same night!), before they fortunately announced a handful of shows at London’s Brixton Academy (a couple of hundred miles from where I lived rather than five thousand). I was there on the opening night, their first UK show in over 20 years, and a wonderful experience it was too, even if they were a little nervous and unfathomably didn’t play ‘Where Is My Mind? The confused crowd didn’t leave even after the house lights came on, astonished that the band wouldn’t play one of their best known songs.

I saw Pixies a handful more times over the following years, as the reunion became permanent. Every show was amazing, the highlight being a joyous outdoor stadium show in Manchester. But by the time I saw them in London in 2009, I had to admit the show wasn’t quite at the same level. Even the greatest bands, if they only have a handful of albums, can find their live shows start to become stale. The band did start putting out new albums in 2014, so they would have something new to play, but nothing that came close to matching their early records.

It could be the problem lies with me as much as the band. I fell in love with them when they were not around, so they became mythic in my mind, and those albums, that original line-up became the only version of Pixies I could truly appreciate. Perhaps if I had first discovered them in 2014, I would have felt differently about those recent albums. Ultimately though, I think Kim Deal leaving the band again in 2013 would have always been a turning point for me. They never quite seemed the same without her, no matter how talented her various replacements have been.

I think that’s also the reason I love Surfer Rosa the most, because it is the most Kim Deal of all their records. There is her signature song ‘Gigantic’ of course, one of the few Pixies songs on which she sang lead, and her bass parts and backing vocals are also a huge part of what makes the album great. From Doolittle onwards she seemed to slowly become sidelined, the band sounding more like a Frank Black solo project by the time they first split.

Given the wonderful music that Kim has put out over the years with The Breeders, it seems a shame they couldn’t have found away to combine forces (Frank Black has put out some pretty good solo records too). Perhaps they could have been even greater than the sum of their formidable parts. It doesn’t always work out that way though, and maybe they needed to separate for Deal to thrive.

Funnily enough, the last time I saw a Pixies song performed live was at a Breeders show in 2019, where they encored with Gigantic, to a raucous response. It seemed symbolic, Kim reclaiming her song, her legacy. It also seemed appropriate for me personally. My relationship with the Pixies truly started with seeing Frank Black perform a Pixies song, and now it was bought to an end by seeing Kim Deal perform another. And although the band continues, my relationship with the current band doesn’t exist in any meaningful sense. I’ll always have all those wonderful songs they made though. and whenever I put on Surfer Rosa, and hear that opening riff to Bone Machine, it will never fail to thrill me and in that moment nothing else will matter.